Summer break is often a joyful time for many children but can be a common point of conflict for divorced or separated parents. With the family’s typical school routine derailed, parents may need to revisit parenting schedules and increase communication and support to one another to make it through June, July and August.
One strategy for parents to attempt is altering the summer parenting schedule to alternating weeks or every two weeks, this can be helpful as it allows additional time for long summer road trips or vacations. It’s important to communicate these changes before school ends and the chaos begins.
The summer season brings sport clinics, summer camps and a whole flurry of activities that parents need to coordinate rides for. Parents who are feeling overwhelmed can try reducing the number of summer activities for the family. This can help minimize stress for everyone in the household.
To stay grounded while establishing new routines, parents can try a child-centered approach to all decisions. When parents keep the child’s needs at the center of each conversation, they feel supported and are more likely to thrive in and out of school.
Additional tips for divorced or separated parents navigating the summer months:
- Be flexible and accommodating to the other parent. Occasionally, one parent may request more time with the children or assistance in dropping a child off at one activity. Try to accommodate requests, when possible, to support each other and ease tension. There will be a time when you will need to make a request, and you are more likely to receive cooperation when you give it.
- Establish a child care plan that works for both parents. Choose a daycare that is close to both homes or find an in-home provider who can be utilized when the child is at either home.
- Find a parenting style that works for everyone. Coparenting is a more consistent style that keeps expectations, rules and routines the same in both households, and works in low conflict situations. In a higher conflict family, parents usually prefer parallel parenting where expectations, rules and routines differ, within reason, in each household.
For additional guidance on effectively communicating with children, utilize these books: “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and “How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7” by Joanna Faber and Julie King.
